I turned 27 last Monday.
We had a nice chill day even though it was pouring rain the whole time. We went to Albertina to see the Claude Monet exhibition, then had lunch at Shoyu Ramen, and on the way home stopped for a cake at Gerstner.
I’m slowly but surely closing on 2 years of living in Vienna and doing the PhD. Many normal things are solved, set it their ways. I don’t worry about going to city offices and dealing with bureaucracy, moving furniture between countries, or getting internet in our apartment. I like to look back at the times, when these were our problems, and see how they are basically non-existent these days. You build up on what you deal with each day, and although there’s always something to solve, you always build on top of things and put yourself in a better position.
But even now there are stressful situations, situations that make me question everything, and in the end make me learn something.
For example the week before my birthday, I was in a really low point. Somehow my whole idea of what I want to be working on as my second paper disappeared, as I realized that I don’t really know what problems I’m trying to solve and, most importantly, how to move forward in order to have something to submit at the end of March.
What got me out of that was one thing—at least besides the fact that I again found that I can fully rely on Gabi for support—I learned that I need to trust my supervisors and the whole process. Other people have been through it and succeeded, and now they’re here to advise me. I need to embrace the fact that I don’t know everything, actually that I know very little, and that things are the way they are because they (mostly) work. This now might sound a bit depressing but for me it’s quite positive. I like to see that there’s so much to learn in so many aspects.
The truth is that I’ve learned a lot even just looking back one year. I’ve gone through the whole course of making, publishing, and presenting a paper. I’ve survived it and now that’s just done, it’s mine, nothing’s gonna take that away from me.
I think I’m addicted to this kind of growth and that’s what makes me want to keep doing this. Even if it means that sometimes things are tough. I’m doing all this to learn, and to be a better person.
I’ll finish up with two moments of our life these days. This view from our bedroom window is an absolute trash: discont shop on the ground floor of an apartment building, one of those apartment already having some weird Christmas decorations, and we have trams going right under our window. But with the street wet from all the rain it looked very cool this one evening.
And then this very photogenic dish we cooked.